Yesterday while I was making my rounds to the local Salvation Army I found an old veteran sitting next to his car with a big sign that says "HONK IF YOU SUPPORT OUR TROOPS". Hey, I might not agree with this war but I've had a family member serve over there and wish we would just bring them all home already. Did I beep? You bet.
So much to do before I start post office training on the 27th. No big family picnics, no big nothings going on actually. I have to run some earrings over to the shop I'll be consigning them to today. Not to mention hope to get gas for under $4/gallon, because here it's $4.05 (as of last night).
I'm really REALLY not looking forward to spending the money for gas to get to New Haven for my post office training. Yes, I'll be reimbursed for it...but in the meantime...I just hope I don't have to go to New Haven every day this week.
I'm going to be starting work on a new zine this weekend. It's going to be done by June 5. I've needed to make this zine for 2 years. I had made a related video in late 2006 and haven't really gotten the courage to show it to my family. I actually made it as part of a contest entry relating to My Chemical Romance's album the Black Parade (it was something like "Show us what the Black Parade means to you") and I've always wanted to make a longer video but felt I really couldn't.
Why is it always easier to show extremely personal stuff to strangers and not my own family? There was a story I'd written in 2002 called "Death of a Boy" which was about the death of one of my old friend's little brothers whom I hardly knew, and it sat online for 2 years till one of my family members stumbled upon it and showed it to his family. When I found out they all knew about it, I was absolutely terrified having to face them about it till I found out they were all happy with it. I ended up re-writing that story and posted it on lock-down in my livejournal. So I unlocked it this morning, if anyone wants to read it.
Death of a Boy
As for the video, it's the same deal now, only it's not "someone else's" family I'm worried about, it's my own. Even I can't believe I still keep it hidden from them. Maybe I should just release it and get it over with?
3 comments:
I understand what you mean about it being harder to show things to family/friends than it is to strangers. I didn't want to tell my friends about my blog at first because I thought they'd think what I was doing was silly...
I think partly it has to do with what happens if we get a bad reaction back... if a stranger doesn't like something you've made/said/done, then it can easily be forgotten or dismissed, but when a family member is unhappy with you, the feelings stick around...
Anyway, found your blog through the etsy forums. I hope you have a good weekend, and get some relaxing time in!
I am so happy to have stumbled across your blog via Etsy. You are a great writer & convey many of the feelings I had up until last fall that had been with me for over 20 years. Now that I am writing more frequently (& blogging has really helped in that arena) it is less scary. Just keep doing it and your love for doing it will grow! Will be back to read more of your writing!
~ Jenn
You have a gift for writing and I enjoyed reading your thoughts on having family see you blog. I've had the same thoughts too. I've been writing some more "musings" type of entries lately and I wonder if my family will really know that's me writing!
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